There is going to be a lot of swearing in this article. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
SWEARING IS COMING.
Anyone who knows me will know that I am very much guilty of giving too many fucks. Aren’t we all? And don’t get me wrong, some fucks are necessary to give, some are very enjoyable! Me, for example, give many fucks about this blog, or about, I don’t know, Game of Thrones. But I constantly find myself giving fucks that I don’t need and don’t want to give. Maybe I just do it out of habit, or maybe I feel pressured to give these fucks, but the point is, no one should give fucks they don’t want to give.
It was the day after my birthday, I had blown…too much money to talk about, on a shopping trip with my friend. We were in Coles, and I saw this book. This book called The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight. I’m not going to lie, I mainly picked it up because I thought I’d get a kick out of it, and because there might actually be some cool tips in there. Never would I have guessed that it would become my bible, something I now reference every day. But here we are. And I honestly think everyone should read this book.
I should make one thing very clear. This book is not going to tell you how to stop giving a fuck about everything, because that’s probably not the best thing to do. It’s how to stop giving fucks about things that bring you misery, or things that don’t bring you joy. You will make lists. Many lists. You will decide first what things you should stop giving a fuck about, then what work-related fucks you can stop giving, then friends/acquaintances/strangers, and finally, family related fucks to get rid of. And after you’ve made said lists, you’ll work to actually stop giving a fuck about the things on your list. You’ll be amazed at how much time, energy, and even money you can gain by simply not giving a fuck about things you don’t care about! I’ll even give you an example.
Everyone yells at me for this, but I don’t give a fuck about Starbucks. I really don’t! I don’t get the big deal! Yeah, their fraps are pretty good, but most of the things on their menu I can get elsewhere, places where it not only tastes better, is better for you, but I don’t have to deposit my paycheck before going. I used to be so scared to tell people that, and tried to think of creative yet believable excuses on why we shouldn’t hang out there, which took up energy. Often, I’d lose, and end up wasting my time. And as far as money? Need I even explain that one?
It sounds like such a simple thing, right? But the time, energy, and money I gain back by not giving a fuck about Starbucks is actually pretty huge! And it adds up! Now, I’m not saying everyone should stop giving a fuck about Starbucks. Maybe you absolutely love Starbucks, and if so, that’s awesome! If it brings you happiness, you should definitely continue to give a fuck about it. But don’t waste your time thinking about how someone can not like Starbucks. You’re putting time and energy towards something that brings you no joy, where you could be putting it towards something that does!
Knight’s method is the Not-Sorry method. Basically she’s saying you should not feel guilty for not giving a fuck about things that don’t bring you happiness. But she tells you how to not give a fuck about things, while not being an asshole. It’s not as fine of a line as you might think, and it’s easier than you may think to avoid asshole territory. But some things, particularly family related fucks, are going to be hard. But this book is filled with tips on how to handle the tough situations, to give less fucks, while being guilt-free. It may take time to get what she calls the Enlightened state, but you will get there! Baby steps!
The key is to remember that it’s your life. It’s your fucks. And it’s your time, energy, and/or money, and you should spend it how you want to! Some things are unavoidable, of course. If you need to pay the bills, you may not always get your choice of dream job. Not right away. But you can work up to it, by getting rid of the fucks you don’t need to give! And remember, it’s about what makes you happy. You may give less than zero fucks about Game of Thrones, but that show is very high up on my fuck list. It brings me joy. It’s okay for you not to give a fuck about it, but it’s also okay for me to give a fuck about it. It’s like Starbucks, but reversed. Maybe you hate or love both of those! Either way, good for you!
Other things that I have decided I could not give a fuck include, but are not limited to: diets, snapchat, driving, clubs, who so and so (a relative I have literally never heard of before) is dating (they can date who they want to, and I don’t know them so why should I care?), what people think about my not driving, what people think about my not currently attending post-secondary (seriously, are you going to hand me 20 grand? No? Then be quiet, please), and pointless quizzes I do not enjoy taking. Funnily enough, pointless quizzes that I do enjoy taking are on my do give a fuck list.
Seriously, I now reference Knight’s book and her methods religiously, and I definitely recommend anyone who’s looking to organize their mental drawer to pick up this book. It really is magic.
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely, Fiction’s Mistress